Against the Stomach of My Sense
Words and Music by Christopher White


Me and OJ SImpson decided to rob a bank.
We got in his white bronco and put gas inside the tank.
OJ took the steering wheel; I climbed into the passenger's seat.
Then OJ put the pedal to the metal and we started down the street.

He dropped me off at First National. I stole all of their cash.
Then I walked out the door. One hand held my loot; the other hand held my stash.
But outside a cop was questioning The Juice. It seems his wife was dead.
OJ looked confused and decided to flee. Then away he sped.

I stood there with no getaway car, wondering what to do.
Then I took all my money and I headed for the zoo.
I bought myself a monkey, and a couple panda bear.
Then I took all my animals, and headed down the stairs.

We walked out of the zoo, and to a carnival.
We wanted to ride the Ferris Wheel, but the monkey was too small.
So we bought some cotton candy, and threw rings and little bottles,
Then we hightailed it out of there, with a couple super models.

Meanwhile OJ was down on his luck. It seems they caught his car.
Me and the models and the animals saw it on a tv in a bar.
I was feeling bad for OJ, and the monkey did agree,
But then my friend Napoleon ran right into me.

I asked Napoleon how he was, and how he'd done at Waterloo.
Napoleon looked surprised and shocked because he thought I knew.
It seems he lost the battle, and later at St. Helena he died,
And things with Josephine didn't work out. Then Napoleon cried.

I said, "Don't worry, brother. You can come along we me.
And we'll live in a land with lots of bread and lots of liberty."
Napoleon asked me where this was. I said, "Honolulu.
And soon OJ will be acquitted, and he can join us too."

Now we all live down there. The Juice, Napoleon, and me.
And we've got lots of animals, and we are oh so free.
Now you may think this song went by in a non-sequiturial haze,
But I would argue that life is like that in a lot of ways.

© Christopher White 2004

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