Have you ever been to China?
It’s different from South Carolina.
The women are nice,
And before you ask twice,
They’ll show you an Asian vagina.

Have you ever been to Tibet?
I want to, but haven’t been yet.
I hear that the chicks there,
Will fondle your prick's hair,
And give all the love you can get.

I’m sick of living in the states,
Where the whore industry has ridiculous rates,
And except for the wealthiest men like Bill Gates,
America masturbates.

Do you want to go to Japan?
I do, but don’t think I can.
I’d be a wreck,
When I couldn’t sign checks,
With the ladies all holding my pen.

Have you ever seen the Philippines?
If you have, then you know what I mean.
If you serve them your dinner, you’re always a sinner,
When the women eat your frank and your beans.

In the third world they’ve got crates upon crates,
Of women who need to put food on their plates,
They’ll nibble your balls like we nibble on dates,
But America masturbates.

Have you ever been to Australia?
I went last year for Saturnalia,
You don’t need a hammer,
To find a girl and ram her,
Any aborigine you see will nail ya.

Have you ever been laid in New Guinea?
I once met a chick there named Winnie.
She gave me some chips,
And then offered a dip,
In the pool, a dip that was skinny.

It was decided by God who mandates,
That other countries get 5-cent playmates
But we weren’t so lucky, it was decreed by the Fates,
That America masturbates.
America masturbates!

© Christopher White 2003