I went to the grocery store,
To pick up some tomatoes,
I also bought some greens, some beans,
And a sack of red potatoes.
I walked to the checkout line,
And stood there in my place.
But just before I bought my goods,
Dick Cheney shot me in the face.

I was in the batcave,
playing a game of poker,
It was me, the penguin, robin,
the riddler, batman, and the joker.
I had a flush, 
And the high card was the ace,
But just before I played my hand,
Dick Cheney shot me in the face.

Pay no attention to that man behind the curtain,
That man from Halliburton
Is an honest kind of joe,
But watch what you do and say,
And stay the heck out of his way.
He can’t be blamed if you're standing where his bullets go.

Me and the family,
Settled down to dine.
We had finished drinking cocktails,
It was time for meat and wine.
We folded our hands and bowed our heads,
And started to say grace.
But just before we got to amen,
Dick cheney shot us all in the face.