311 Degrees in December

311 Degrees in December
Words and Music by Christopher White

Well, it's 2024,
We don't have penguins anymore,
Or polar ice caps,
Or New York City.
I think by 2025,
If anyone's left alive,
It won't look pretty.

Well it's 311 degrees in december,
What ice tastes like, I can't remember,
It's so unpleasant, I only ask for one Christmas present,
And that's for it to not be 311 degrees in december

Some people say,
This heat is a lie,
Invented by,
The liberal media.
Others say it's just evolution,
This decembrist revolution.
Well, if you think that, I tell you I don't need ya.

Well it's 311 degrees in december,
What ice tastes like, I can't remember,
I'm crying tears of steam, eating liquid ice cream,
And it's 311 degrees in december

I say whatever
311 in december,
Is not necessarily bad.
I'll make the best of it,
I'll make the best of it!
No need to be sad.
Maybe I'll go to the beach,
Now that it's within my reach.
You can come along with me.
Bring your SUV!

Well, it's New Year's,
I think I'll knock back a few beers,
That's right,
A few warm ones.
They say an ice age is a-risin',
There are clouds on the horizon,
And I think that they're storm ones.

Well it's 311 degrees in december,
What ice tastes like, I can't remember,
I doubt that I'll live another day, but it don't matter anyway,
When it's 311 degrees in December.